Knowing your worth as a dancer

Knowing your worth as a dancer is always important. I always believe that you should see yourself in your own way and not in how others see you. I think being a dancer this is one of the hardest things. We are taught in class to be obedient, listen and to absorb, and we are told not to hold back during during rehearsals and shows.

There will always be someone better that is true, and for the past 22 or so years I’ve had to learn this the hard way. That there is enough sunshine for everyone, but you should believe that if you work hard enough (like really work, eat breathe live dance) you deserve your piece of sunshine too and don’t be afraid to show that you do. ❤️

Picture taken during my performance last summer as Paquita by Miguel Antonio Gonzales

Backstage, CCP main theatre

Everything is beautiful at the ballet (from an audiences perspective) but everything is chaotic backstage. I’m just not used to the normal dancers life anymore.

I forgot how it was to stay long hours in the theater. Not seeing much daylight. The feeling of always being in a studio or in the theater. The feeling that I once loved and maybe still do love.

Click on the image for the full size.


Before class


During class


After Class

It’s really something special when you’re backstage, because you get to see everything. The sequins all over the floor. Sweat EVERYWHERE. Dancers screaming once they step out of the stage as soon as they exit the wings. The chaos of putting make up, the communal hairspray being passed around to everyone. The death of my pointe shoes by the coffee that was beside my bag last night. (sad but, it’s about time I guess) I am so thankful that I still get to experience this.

Whenever I’m backstage, I forget the time. I forget that there is a world outside of this, it is one of the reasons why I fell in love with dancing. As I get to feel this again, I wish to enjoy every moment of what is left of it.

Back on Stage, CCP main theatre

It’s been nearly 3 months since I’ve set food on stage. I have missed it so much. There’s just something about being on stage and by the wings that thrills me.

It makes me miss the life of being in a ballet company. It didn’t really matter to me what role I played, because in the end ever person was an important element in the entirety of the show.

Feeling Nostalgic at the CCP dance studio. This was one of the first dance studios that I ever danced in when I was 4 years old.

Feeling Nostalgic at the CCP dance studio. This was one of the first dance studios that I ever danced in when I was 4 years old.

This new portion of my blog will be dedicated to all the dancers out there who could relate to how I feel. I believe in that saying “Once a dancer, always a dancer”. Whether you only dance once a week now or not, or maybe just take a few classes a year. That being a dancer, will not be stripped away from you because you know that you are still a dancer at heart. If you’re thinking that it is really difficult to let go of it,  you shouldn’t. You should embrace it and continue to spread your love for dance.

I know it is difficult to do so, as there is really more to life than just dancing every single day and having no social life or time for yourself. I have many friends from the company who have pursued different paths but whenever we come together again, I still see the dancers within them. I’m sure just as I do, they still pointe their toes from time to time or do some stretching. It’s been such a long “love hate relationship” with ballet, that it’s too late to give up. So I chose to keep it in my life for as long as I can. Embrace that there will always be a dancer within you.